Hello. I am space ghost.
Welcome to my show.
Joining us on this program will be motivational
speaker and talk show host, Susan powter, and comedian Kevin meaney.
Please say hello to the band, zorak and the original way outs.
Stop! Sorry.
Before we begin, I'd just like to point out to our viewers
that although it may seem like the ghost planet
behind me is really close, it's actually millions
and millions of Miles away.
So don't worry.
We're not going to run into it or anything.
Moltar! Damage report!
She's breaking up.
She's gonna blow, space ghost!
Danger! Danger!
Got to do something.
Space ghost, you idiot!
D'oh!
You've seen them outwit space ghost... Aah! Change it!
Aah! Aah! This sucks!
Whoa! Ow!
Huh huh, huh huh. This is cool. Ha ha ha.
Yeah. Heh heh heh.
They're going to die.
Fire! Fire!
Available at Murray's.
Aah!
My first guest is on a mission to stop the insanity.
Please welcome Susan powter.
Yup. A little bit of salt would be good.
Hello, Susan. Susan?
Moltar, what's she doing?
She's eating pasta salad.
Perhaps she saw your face and decided to split, space ghost.
Zorak, just remember who has the orkin man on their speed dial.
Oh, yeah?
Enough! Susan's back.
Susan, welcome to the show.
I take much pleasure in knowing you.
Tell us, who are you really?
What's your secret identity?
My secret identity?
Um, well, I may as well tell you here, sitting here with you, space ghost.
I'm really a transsexual, actually. I'm not a woman at all.
Really?
The real identity is me.
It's about as much me as you can get when I'm up on the stage.
So, do you have any super powers that you use to stop the insanity?
Yeah, female intuition, the most powerful thing in the universe.
Yeah, right.
You talk about women taking over the world.
Is this something I'll be forced to stop in the near future?
Ha ha ha!
Yeah. We're going to take over the world, so you're going to
have to battle us.
Susan, you have some food in your teeth.
I do thank you.
That's better.
You were born in Australia.
Have you ever been snatched away by a pack of wild dingoes?
No. I escaped the bush narrowly. Narrowly escaped the bush.
I think we have some footage of you escaping the bush.
Roll that clip, moltar.
People are afraid to leave their homes.
They cringe behind locked doors, trembling with fear,
wondering who the deadly bush will strike next!
Meantime, the hideous creatures... This actually isn't too bad.
Aah!
My, that's frightening.
What do your archenemies look like, Susan?
What scares you?
Any freeze-dried, yogurty, malty looking thing.
Anything white and creamy, freeze-dried-- stay away from it.
Yes, I certainly will.
You must be in awe of my super-colossal strength.
I'm in awe of any man that wears wristbands like yours.
Can you see every painful detail of my muscular physique?
Ha ha ha!
You are a specimen!
In more ways than one.
She said specimen.
Yeah. Heh heh heh.
I don't get it.
Thank you.
Say, I was thinking of coming out with my own diet plan.
Do you have any advice for me to follow?
Fly fast and, uh, whatever it is you eat, make sure it's
high-volume, low-fat.
What do you eat, anyway?
Chemicals, tacos, fajitas, chimichangas, quesadillas, burritos,
refried beans, flan, sopapillas, cheese dip,
the speedy with beans, hot tamales... Well, that's what we eat, too.
Hey, it's the same thing.
We're all eating chemicals.
Yes. They help me do my job.
And what do you do?
I fly and save planets from peril.
Why don't you come on down and help us here because we're dying!
Will do, citizen.
Thanks for being on the show, Susan, and good luck stopping the insanity.
Well, good luck saving the planets, and please help us here
because we really do need your help.
Ok! Don't go away.
We'll be right back.
All righty!
My next guest is from Los Angeles.
He is a stand-up comedian.
Please welcome Kevin meaney.
What is wrong with you?
Does my music frighten you?
Yes!
Ha ha ha!
I'm terribly sorry.
Welcome, Kevin.
I trust the particle transformation was comfy.
Do you have enough oxygen?
Absolutely, space ghost.
I couldn't be more comfortable.
Thank you for asking.
You're welcome.
Tell us, are you keeping busy?
I certainly am.
I travel all throughout the galaxy, you know, doing my comedy.
Ha ha ha!
Say, Kevin, what would your mother think of you being on my show?
Oh, my God!
We turned on the tv this afternoon, and guess who we saw.
Space ghost interviewing Kevin!
It was crazy!
I don't get it.
Are you involved with the FBI or something?
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Kevin, I have many super powers and a colossal bulk that
frightens evil villains.
What do you have that will impress us?
Well, space ghost, I have an incredible head of hair.
Astonishing.
Hee hee hee!
Oh, my God! Space ghost!
Don't do that!
Ouch.
Already done.
I think you've crossed the line here.
Yeah, whatever.
Space ghost!
Kevin, I wear a pantsuit and a cape.
I wear a pantsuit and a cape.
So what do you think of my tight pants?
Well, let me tell you something, mister tight-pants-wearing space ghost!
I don't like them one bit!
Walking around the universe with tight pants on, it's not right!
You're like a crazy person.
What's wrong with you?
What if president Kennedy finds out about this?
He'll think the school has been infiltrated by communist spies,
and the monsignor will be blacklisted, and the pope--
it's been a thrill having you on.
Come back and see us again.
What do you mean you can't hear?
Aren't you space ghost?
You've seen them outwit space ghost in horrendous space battles.
Now hear them sing your favorite nursery rhymes and lullabies.
It's zorak and moltar!
Just listen.
* Rock a bye, space ghost * say your prayers
* my locust ship is arriving * and I will conquer you
* and the universe will be mine, mine, mine *
Ha ha ha!
Like angels!
Never before has such evil, villainous scum
recorded such a masterpiece-- one the whole family can enjoy.
Here's another favorite.
* Twinkle, twinkle, little... *
* star * we know exactly where you... *
* are * you can't run, and you can't... *
* hide * because we'll find you, space ghost *
* and the universe will be ours, ours, ours *
Ha ha ha!
Yes, just imagine.
You'll be the envy of all your friends
when you order this collector's item and play it really loud!
Just send $94 to the address on your screen.
Order now!
That's right! Only $94!
Available at Murray's.
Hmm. That's expensive.
How could this be?
There are 3 of them!
Moltar, what is it?
It's the blasted bee gees!
What? How can this be?
They say you called them to be on the show.
Why, I never called-- zorak!
Uh, I must go to the store to get butter and cheese.
I must go to the store to get butter and cheese.
Standby, space ghost.
Hello, bee gees.
Are you in good spirits?
It depends on what we've been eating, space ghost.
It depends on the food.
Ha ha ha! Come on, space ghost, come on!
Ha ha ha!
This is the bee gees.
Boy, if only we could really just fry them.
Ha ha ha!
Hey, fellows, I know a great polynesian restaurant up the street.
I could go for a... Poo Poo platter